Sometimes just listening to someone can make them feel one-hundred times better. :)

So, I spent the night with boyfriend and his sister (Matthew and Emily) who seems to me like a sister to me last night. Everything was going okay then I said a few things to make my boyfriend upset and we had an argument. As soon as all of that was going on I went to Emily for help. Emily was having some problems and I laughed with her about them and she helped me with mine too.
It's nice to have someone there you can talk to. I have Matthew but I can't always go to him especially when it him I need to talk about. I go to Emily for a lot of my problems and I am surprised she sticks around for it all. I guess that's what sisters are for. :)
Matthew helps with a lot of things too. I am always feeling so bad about my weight. A lot of girls do. Last night I was sitting in Emily's room and I was talking to her about how I thought I looked pregnant in the picture her father had taken of us on Halloween. It got to me and I almost started crying and she could tell. I tried to leave but she told me to stay and I was for some reason shocked. I stayed and tried to hold by tears and I did. I felt I  should talk to Matthew about this since it was making me feel so terrible. I asked him if I could talk to him and he soon came to me. I told him what the problem was and he made me feel so much better. He had me lay down me on his bed and he sat down and told me how he felt about the way I looked. The things he told me made me feel so much better about myself and I am glad I went to him.
Emily and Matthew are always there for me and I want to always be there for them. They are the best friends I could ever have and I am so lucky to have them in my life. I can't wait til I can legally be a Lockwood.

I love you guys, thank you for being there for me. :')

Just a little update.

6:02PM

Today I went to the clinic on base because I had a rash. The doctor said it was most likely to be hives so there really was nothing to worry about. She gave me some benadryl just in case it came back though. While I was waiting for my meds I saw a very young couple with two children. When I saw them I couldn't help but to picture myself and Matthew in the future. It's going to be an amazing experience and I cannot wait.

I need to start taking school seriously, the past week and a half I have not been going to school as often or as much as I should or would like to. I am trying my best to keep up with all of the work I've been missing but it's pretty hard. As soon as I start going back to school I will try my best to maintain going to school. I really am not looking forward to going back though. Tomorrow when I go to school it's going to be a bit annoying, walking into my science class and hearing my teacher say some smart ass remark about my attendance. I guess I kind of deserve it though.

Speaking of getting back into the swing of school.. I should probably go start my make-up work.. :/

Goodbye!
-Stefanie :)

I needed to clear my head.

Starting at 11:54 PM; Tuesday, September 06, 2011
I have no idea what to type about.. Hmmmm
     At the moment I am on Skype with the love of my life, Matthew.. :)


   Okay.. So, I am currently in my third week of sophomore year of high school. Everything seems to be going great, other than the fact that I have notice my attitude changing very quickly. I am not sure if it's because my dad is currently TDY or if it's because most of the friends I had at only just 3-4 months ago are completely against me. Many things happened and I do not feel I should post them on here because it's way to long.


   Now, I am wanting to change the topic.. For the month of September there are a few important things happening. First, my boyfriend and his little sister are being adopted. Second, on the 18th Matthew and I will have been going out for six months. Our time together has been wonderful. I wouldn't say it's been the smoothest relationship but it's definitely the most delightful thing one could ever imagine. I am so in love with him and I want to be with him for the rest of my life. I never thought I would ever be this close to anyone but the whole time I've known Matthew I have been a whole new person. Before he came into my life I was depressed and I felt alone. I thought that after my ex, Justin, that I would never be the same. I figured I was scarred because of him. Now that Matt and I are together he has fixed my broken heart and added on to it. If anything were to happen to him I don't know what I would do. I have a DailyBooth and one day I posted about how he made me feel in almost the perfect words::
I love this boy to death. He is my hero. If it weren't for him I don't know what I would do. I hate it when he is sick because she doesn't deserve to suffer. Matthew deserves anything and everything.
He has saved me from doing some of the stupidest things you'd imagine one would do to themselves. Including death. He makes sure I am safe all the time and he puts me before himself. When I am sick or just on my period, he is there for me. He gets me waters and midol/motrin when I need it. No matter how rude I am to him, he understands.
Those times where I am sad and I just need to be held, he doesn't even need me to tell him, he'll come up to me and just hold me.
He is starting is Senior year this year and I am starting my sophomore year. After high school we will be married and Matthew will be in the Air Force. I am afraid for him to be leaving for things such as basic training, tech school, and TDY but those are the things a military wife has to go through and I am willing to do it.
Matthew is my shoulder to cry on. He is my love. He is the reason I get up in the morning. The one that stays up on the phone with me until I fall asleep. He is my hero. I am going to be with him until the day I die because I am so in love with this man. 3.18.11<3
Matthew really does mean everything and I realize that now.. I came on here to post about some people who used to be my best friends and I turned out talking about what really matters in my life, Matthew. I know those of you who are reading this don't really care that much about what I am saying but I started this blog so I could let out my feelings. 
Writing tonight has helped me realize why I am at the point in my life that I am. It has also made me realize that I am in love with Matthew and no one, not even my best friends came or can come in the way of my love for him. 


It's getting late and I want to call Matt so I am getting off of here. 
Bye. 

-Stefanie

Life is good

So many things can happen in one lifetime. To think that I've only been alive for almost sixteen years and to know that this much has happened already is crazy. I wonder what it will be like when I get to be in my sixty's and seventy's. I don't want to rush through life anymore because before I know it I am going to be out of high school. It's going to be so weird, to finally graduate in 2014.. At least I know that I have a marvelous journey with those in my life now.. 

Who knows? Those who are closest to me now may be my worst enimies later. Those who I can't stand now, they may be my best friend later. 

I can not wait to see what the world and the people in it have in store for me over my years to come. 

I guess what I am really thinking about is just how amazing life can be. Life can be a really tough struggle at times. I surround myself with the people that make me happy. Those people, the ones who live all the way across the country, the ones who are just a few hours away, the ones I rairly see, the ones who are there at school with me, the people who have come to my school and had to move away because their mother or father was stationed somewhere else, and that special guy that comes over everyday no matter what... Those are the people who keep me going. 

I love the way things are going for me. I have an amazing family who cares for me. I have the absolute best friends in the world. I have the most outstanding, sweet, and caring boyfriend I could ever ask for..

Like I said eairlier, life is amazing. 

Things always fall apart but they are just making room for something even better to fall into place. 

Thank you, to everyone who has ever cared for me. I don't know how a lot of you guys put up with me but I am certinally glad you have. I've gone through some points in life where I thought I was at the end and there were always a couple people who were there for me. If it weren't for them, I am sure I wouldn't be  here right now. 

I love you guys, thank you for helping me when I thought no one else would. 

It's been a while.

Hey, I know it's been a long time. I planned on posting at least once a week if not everyday. Obviously that didn't work out to well. I'm not all that sure why I didn't keep up. I guess I just got caught up in my life which I shouldn't have. 
A lot has happened since my last blog. 


I've had my heart broken and put back together by the same person only for them to hurt me again. I've grown closer to my older sisters and brother but further away from my parents and younger sister. I know that it's not the best thing in the world but I really can't help it. 
I have always hated my mother, sadly. At the same time she has always hated me, or at least she has always made it seem that way. I guess that's just the way it's always going to be. She has never liked the things I do and the choices I made and I have to say the same thing about her. It hurts to know that I feel this way about my own mother but I don't really feel like I should give her respect. Sure, if it wasn't for her I wouldn't be around but I would be a lot better if she wasn't here. She never does anything to help or support me and I am tired of it. Not only have I drifted apart from my mother but I've done the same with my father. My dad and I had a cool relationship but it wasn't very strong and after a while it faded. Now the only reason we talk is because I am in band I want to tell him something about it. 


I am depressed a lot lately though no one will talk to me about it. I think it's because they are tired of hearing the same thing from me and it's annoying. It could also be the fact that I act like I am happy and so no one knows that anything is wrong so they can't really do anything about it. 


I recently love bike riding. It's fun, I get exercise, and I can go exploring. Riding my bike isn't near my family and the little friends I have either so I can easily clear my mind. 
  
There is really nothing more I have to say. I thought I would have more but this is kind of a lot anyways. I will see y'all next time I suppose. I haven't any idea as to when that may be but that time will come before the end of this year. 


Bye bye for now. :)


Oh, here is a picture of myself. I will put one in each of my blogs. 

Please follow me on DailyBooth: http://dailybooth.com/stefanie_nicole_ruiz
and
Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/Stefanienr1995