If you have ever played a video game and you've also made a mistake in your life you probably understand me when I say "I wish my life were a fucking video game". It have messed up my life a lot and I always sit here and think about how things would be if I didn't do certain things. What would my life be like if I was friends with different people? How would my school work change if I always had the motivation I do now? Where would I be in life if my father wasn't in the military? These are just a few questions I ask myself on a daily basis..
I used to do really great in school but then I started slacking and it got really bad. Now I am doing better but not as well as I would like. I wonder how I would be doing in school now if I was always doing well in school. I know one thing is for sure.. If I could go back in time and guide myself through my life with the knowledge I have today I would do it in a heartbeat. I didn't know how incredibly foolish I was being back then.. I now know that I mess up way more than most people. No one should mess up as much as I.
I am now six-teen years of age and I am a sophomore in high school. I am currently in a relationship with a man that I love very much and he is seven-teen years of age and is a senior in high school. We go through a lot of fights and I hate it when we do but it is just one of the things that comes with a relationship. There are no two people who will agree on every single thing in the world so no matter what there will be arguments. Those are some of the times I wish I was in a video game. If I messed up something I could pause then restart the day, or the week. Everything would be so much better.
I have been thinking about this subject for a while now and I am getting tired of it. All I am doing is getting more and more pissed off at myself about how much of an idiot I am for making mistakes. You're probably thinking that I am an idiot for thinking that since everyone makes mistakes but I am making the same ones over and over again. It's like I can never learn..
Do to the fact that I find it bothersome that I never fix my flaws I wish I was a video game. Not so people can play me.. But so I can simply improve myself. So that I can rid myself and all those affected by the things I do of my nonsense. Wouldn't it be helpful?
Monday, January 30, 2012
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
A new family.
It has been an amazing year so far..
Starting with New years eve...
For the new year I went with my boyfriend, Matthew, and his family to their house in Arizona. I had an amazing time. I shared a room with Lance, Matthew's brother, and Matthew. The house was so beautiful too! It was clean and new. The kitchen was amazing as well. there were granite counter tops, stainless steel appliances, and nice dark cabinets. I also got to meet Jeanette's babies (Jeanette is Matthews dads girlfriend). The babies were just adorable. For Dec. 31st, we went to this block party and there were a lot of people there. Around 10 we went back home though because the babies were getting tired and we were all running out of things to do. When we got back to the house everyone went off to do their own things. At about 11:30 we turned on the television to watch the ball drop in NY. I was sitting on Matthews lap when the ball dropped and he kissed me. It was amazing. I had never had a new years kiss and I had finally gotten one from someone I love very much. I couldn't have asked for anything more. After the ball dropped we all went outside with our champagne and sparkling cider and listened to all the fireworks in the neighborhood. Then we went to bed.. I guess it doesn't really sound too amazing but it was for me and that's really all that matters. I was with the ones I love and I had an amazing time.
Now, for a more current event. This weekend was a three day weekend because of MLK day. It was also Matthews cousins birthday so we had plans on going to see the family in Vegas. After school on Friday we were going to leave but we had to wait for Matthew to finish with work. Finally he came home from work and told his dad he couldn't go. I was really upset that he couldn't go but I still went. At first I thought it was going to be really weird because I didn't really ever talk to his family and I wanted him there with me but it was okay because I am like best friends with his sister so I had someone there for me. When we got in Vegas the first place we went was Grandpa and Banois house. Banoi was pretty intimidating at first but I just brushed it off because that's just how she is.. Over the weekend I was able to talk more to Banoi and I became very comfortable around her. I also became comfortable around the rest of the family. I love that family so much and I don't think I could live without them now that I've grown to know them.
I was going to write a lot more but I couldn't think of what it was going to be.. :/
This is the end though. Bye bye.
Starting with New years eve...
For the new year I went with my boyfriend, Matthew, and his family to their house in Arizona. I had an amazing time. I shared a room with Lance, Matthew's brother, and Matthew. The house was so beautiful too! It was clean and new. The kitchen was amazing as well. there were granite counter tops, stainless steel appliances, and nice dark cabinets. I also got to meet Jeanette's babies (Jeanette is Matthews dads girlfriend). The babies were just adorable. For Dec. 31st, we went to this block party and there were a lot of people there. Around 10 we went back home though because the babies were getting tired and we were all running out of things to do. When we got back to the house everyone went off to do their own things. At about 11:30 we turned on the television to watch the ball drop in NY. I was sitting on Matthews lap when the ball dropped and he kissed me. It was amazing. I had never had a new years kiss and I had finally gotten one from someone I love very much. I couldn't have asked for anything more. After the ball dropped we all went outside with our champagne and sparkling cider and listened to all the fireworks in the neighborhood. Then we went to bed.. I guess it doesn't really sound too amazing but it was for me and that's really all that matters. I was with the ones I love and I had an amazing time.
Now, for a more current event. This weekend was a three day weekend because of MLK day. It was also Matthews cousins birthday so we had plans on going to see the family in Vegas. After school on Friday we were going to leave but we had to wait for Matthew to finish with work. Finally he came home from work and told his dad he couldn't go. I was really upset that he couldn't go but I still went. At first I thought it was going to be really weird because I didn't really ever talk to his family and I wanted him there with me but it was okay because I am like best friends with his sister so I had someone there for me. When we got in Vegas the first place we went was Grandpa and Banois house. Banoi was pretty intimidating at first but I just brushed it off because that's just how she is.. Over the weekend I was able to talk more to Banoi and I became very comfortable around her. I also became comfortable around the rest of the family. I love that family so much and I don't think I could live without them now that I've grown to know them.
I was going to write a lot more but I couldn't think of what it was going to be.. :/
This is the end though. Bye bye.
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