I wish my life were a fucking video game..

     If you have ever played a video game and you've also made a mistake in your life you probably understand me when I say "I wish my life were a fucking video game". It have messed up my life a lot and I always sit here and think about how things would be if I didn't do certain things. What would my life be like if I was friends with different people? How would my school work change if I always had the motivation I do now? Where would I be in life if my father wasn't in the military? These are just a few questions I ask myself on a daily basis..
     I used to do really great in school but then I started slacking and it got really bad. Now I am doing better but not as well as I would like. I wonder how I would be doing in school now if I was always doing well in school. I know one thing is for sure.. If I could go back in time and guide myself through my life with the knowledge I have today I would do it in a heartbeat. I didn't know how incredibly foolish I was being back then.. I now know that I mess up way more than most people. No one should mess up as much as I.
     I am now six-teen years of age and I am a sophomore in high school. I am currently in a relationship with a man that I love very much and he is seven-teen years of age and is a senior in high school. We go through a lot of fights and I hate it when we do but it is just one of the things that comes with a relationship. There are no two people who will agree on every single thing in the world so no matter what there will be arguments. Those are some of the times I wish I was in a video game. If I messed up something I could pause then restart the day, or the week. Everything would be so much better.
     I have been thinking about this subject for a while now and I am getting tired of it. All I am doing is getting more and more pissed off at myself about how much of an idiot I am for making mistakes. You're probably thinking that I am an idiot for thinking that since everyone makes mistakes but I am making the same ones over and over again. It's like I can never learn..
     Do to the fact that I find it bothersome that I never fix my flaws I wish I was a video game. Not so people can play me.. But so I can simply improve myself. So that I can rid myself and all those affected by the things I do of my nonsense. Wouldn't it be helpful?